


Egg Salad

by RiddlePanda



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Horror, Body Modification, Cloaca, Egg Laying, I am so sorry Clyde. Please forgive me., M/M, Oviposition, why the hell did i write this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 17:32:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddlePanda/pseuds/RiddlePanda
Summary: "YOU CAN'T LAY EGGS CLYDE!""I would if I could!"Years later, those words his ten year old self said would come back to haunt him.





	Egg Salad

**Author's Note:**

> I am so so so fucking sorry

The first thing Clyde noticed upon waking up, was that his body _**HURT**_. It wasn’t that pain you got from getting punched or accidentally cutting yourself. This pain felt like every single muscle in his body had been overworked, every vein and artery overstimulated. Even though it wasn’t possible, he felt like even his hair hurt. There was a soft light on, but even having his eyes shut couldn’t block out the painful light.

The loud beep hurt his ears and he whimpered. He could feel each step in his body as whoever was walking toward him moved closer. His arm was gently grabbed, but it felt like his arm was being ripped off with the amount of pain coursing through the movement.

He determined whoever was in the room was a man, judging from the humming. Clyde kept his eyes shut, tears starting to pool, as the man poked and prodded him.

A slight squeeze on his stomach made Clyde gasp out, tears beginning to fall silently, as he felt the jolt through his body. The roaming fingers moved lower as Clyde laid useless on the bed, unable to do anything to stop the pain the person was inflicting in his examination.

He felt more jolts of pain as the fingers moved closer to his anus, the brunette whimpering and gasping as the prodding grew faster and closer together. The finger finally brushed against it, sending a jolt of pain more intense than his stomach throughout his body. Clyde barely had time to ride out the pain before his hole was penetrated by three fingers and stretched.

Clyde screamed in pain for only a second before passing out.

——————————

He could open his eyes this time around. His body was sore, but not in the shape it had been when he had first woken up. Clyde knew he was on a bed, possibly a hospital one, judging from the smells in the room and the thin gown he was wearing. He could make out a clear glass wall a few feet in front of him, a door attached to it in the corner.

Clyde could move this time without too much pain and he took the opportunity to shift his position slightly. stretching slowly out of the fetal position he was in. He felt a pull on his arm and noticed he was hooked up to an IV. He debated pulling it out, but there was no way of telling how long he had been unconscious. The saline solution could possibly be the only thing keeping him alive, despite his stomach feeling full.

The brunette felt dizzy and he closed his eyes, trying to ebb away the nausea he felt and wondering how he ended up where he was. This certainly wasn’t a normal hospital room.

Him and Token had come home from college, finally graduated, and wanted to celebrate and take a vacation before starting the next step in their lives. Skeeter’s bar was an absolute must since the man began selling a vast selection of mixed drinks as well as wine and beer. Clyde remembered downing the drink a random guy had bought for the entire group (save for Tweek who didn’t drink due to his medications) and getting up to pee. He remembered making it to the restroom when everything went fuzzy.

He saw blurred movement in glass, before a loud beep echoed through the room and the door opened. Clyde tried focusing on the figure walking toward him, knowing the man looked familiar. He recognized the colorful shirt. His eyes widened and he forced himself to sit up a bit.

“D-Doctor Mephesto?”

There had been rumors he had died, way back when they were all in junior high, when the lab suddenly closed down, falling into disrepair, the research the doctor and his assistants swept under the rug of the scientific world. Mephesto looked the same, albeit having a few more wrinkles than when they had all visited him in the lab when they had played superheroes back in Fourth Grade.

“Remarkable healing time. I had suspected you would be in the same condition you were in the last time I checked you. Your body finally adjusted to the new DNA and additions I put in you. That should make the final process a lot easier for you.”

Clyde furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up at the doctor in confusion. “Wh-What are you talking about? Why am I here? What-”

He tried pushing himself up further to sit up, when a jolt of pain in his arms, them both instantly becoming numb. The brunette gasped when his arms gave out, sending his upper body back on the bed and pillow. He could still feel his arms trembling in shock, but couldn’t move them as much as he tried.

Mephesto put the small device he was holding back in his pocket. “I’m afraid boy that I can’t let you get up. It would jostle the growing embryos inside you. I really don’t want to start this process over. I’ve attached a device on your spine that lets me numb your limbs if you get…rebellious. You thrashed around too much the first few times I examined you when you were unconscious. Just do what I say and I won’t have to activate the device again.”

Clyde’s breathing grew heavier as the words the doctor said sunk in. Angry tears pricked his eyes as he tried desperately for his arms to work. “What?! What the hell?! Embryos? DNA? What the hell did you do!?”

Mephesto chuckled and shook his head. “Did you forget what you wished back then? I remembered the dialogue you and that boy that kept questioning my experiments had when you were fighting my genetic mutations. You wanted to lay eggs? I’m granting you that wish boy. Granted my original plan had to be scrapped. Human DNA just didn’t want to splice with bug DNA.”

“WHAT!? What in the ever living fuck!? I was fucking ten! We were playing a game where we were superheroes! That was me being in character. I don’t actually want to lay eggs! How would they even come out? My butthole won’t be able to push things like eggs out!”

The man chuckled again. “Oh, you don’t actually have that anymore. I had to completely rearrange your lower body when I discovered you had had a colostomy. Your anus and the part of the intestines I was going to use wouldn’t have been able to deal with the pressure of the womb I was going to implant in you. So I spliced some bird, platypus, and echidna DNA with some of your own to grow a cloaca that your body wouldn’t reject and surgically implanted it in you. That time you were awake, I was checking to make sure everything was in working order.”

Clyde grew still and silent as tears began to fall, his stomach lurching at Mephesto’s words playing over in his head. He closed his eyes and choked back a sob.

“Ah, the hormones that are in the saline solution are working fine, I see. It’s imperative for them to work so your body will not be in too much shock as your stomach grows larger as the embryos grow and eventually form shells. I do believe for your size, they’ll be about the size of an emu egg. I’ll show you pictures next time I come in to check on you. There’s three of them.”

“Wh-Why? Why do this to me? Why couldn’t you have just done this to animals like you did when we were kids? What the hell is wrong with you!?”

Clyde flinched as Mephesto patted him on the head. “Oh nothing is wrong with me boy. It’s just science. And I did already splice animals with cloacas before and have seen their offspring. I figured that since you wanted to lay eggs and this would be a perfect opportunity to add human DNA to the mix, kill two birds with one stone if you will. The embryos took to your semen pretty eagerly.”

Clyde choked back another sob. “They’re gonna hatch!?”

“Of course they are. I wasn’t going to give you the ability to lay eggs without seeing if they could be fertilized and come to term. I am a man of science after all. I had wished to use another’s semen in the conception, but I didn’t have time to acquire some. But yours makes for a good control placement if we should do this again.”

The brunette shivered as he stared angrily at the doctor. “There won’t _**BE**_ an again. My friends will find me. You’re not gonna get away with this.”

Mephesto smirked and shook his head. “I’m afraid this is South Park. People tend to…forget about people that have disappeared or died after a certain time. Your friends will soon forget you. You should do the same.”

—————————-

Clyde clutched his abdomen and winced as he brushed against a stretch mark, proof that he was stretching as the eggs grew inside of him. It had been two weeks since he fully woke up, Mephesto further telling him that he had been unconscious and healing for a prior two weeks before then, fertilizing the eggs between that time after he determined everything was safe to begin the process. The eggs had been growing for three weeks at this point, stretching his stomach far beyond the pudge he had when he was younger and chunkier.

He closed his eyes, trying hard not to cry. It had begun to hurt by this point, his eyes constantly red and bloodshot and giving him a headache. The doctor wouldn’t give him anything for the pain at this point, fearing any drugs would throw off his calculations and experiment. The man pretty much left him alone, only coming in to check his vitals, change the IVs, and give him food and water.

Clyde shakily pushed himself into a sitting position on his bed, propped up by the soft pillows Mephesto finally allowed him to have. He had also finally let the brunette shift and move out of the fetal position after he determined the eggs growing inside wouldn’t jostle around too much in the womb from the movement.

Being allowed off the bed to use the toilet in the room had been a godsend, even if that was the only time he was allowed off, unless he wanted the privilege of being able to use his legs taken away. Waking up several times to find he had defecated and pissed all over himself and the bed due to his new body modification had stripped him of his dignity as Mephesto cleaned him up each time. He wondered if his mother was laughing at him from wherever she went as he now had to pee sitting down. The doctor had rerouted his urinary tract to the cloaca, his penis now only emitting semen.

He put his hand on his distended stomach as his mind wandered. A month. A month he had been here. There was no doubt a missing person report out for him, but the truth of it hurt. No one knew the lab was still operational, that Mephesto was still alive. No one would think to check the lab.

Mephesto’s words had cut deep. It was true that people would just be forgotten after a certain time. There would always be a few that remembered a certain person but not another. He remembered Bradley Biggle, since him and Henrietta lived next to Craig, but even Henrietta’s family had forgotten the boy since he had flew off. Butters had remembered a kid named Pip. Clyde closed his eyes, hoping that even if he was forgotten, that Token wouldn’t be the one to remember him.

Token. It hurt to think about him. They had been together for two years at this point, finally confessing their second year in college after Token and Nichole’s mutual breakup and Clyde’s explosive one with Bebe. Token’s parents were supportive, but he could tell they had wanted their son to stay with Nichole. At least she was normal. At least her body was made naturally to have children. Maybe after he was forgotten, Token could get back together with her.

He wasn’t normal, not anymore. Even if there was a miracle and he did get out, no one would want him. Mephesto had made it clear that he’d still make eggs due to the reproductive organs in the cloaca, whether they were fertilized or not, and have to lay them. They’d be smaller, but there would still be one day a month where he’d have to expel eggs out of his body. Who would want a freak that laid eggs?

Clyde quickly grabbed the water bottle he kept by the small bedside table and gulped down the contents to keep from throwing up what little he had eaten. He wasn’t given much food, Mephesto not taking any chances in case everything hadn’t healed up yet, the fluids in the IV drips making up the most of his nutrients.

The movement made the eggs turn in the fluid in his womb, one prodding the soft tissue since they were growing harder with each day. It sent a ripple through his body and Clyde shivered, hoping the ordeal would be over soon.

—————————–

A sharp pain pulled Clyde out of the fitful sleep he was in and he sat up quickly, whimpering as the pain in his abdomen grew, feeling like his midsection was being squeezed. He winced as he felt the eggs shift, poking into his swollen womb. Another sharp pain hit and he felt something tear inside him, before slightly pink liquid began to leak out between his legs, staining and soaking the sheets and his legs.

Clyde stared at the fluid with wide eyes, the realization hitting him. His water just broke and the liquid was what had been surrounding the eggs inside him. He was going into labor. The eggs were ready to be laid.

The door beeped and Mephesto quickly walked in, swiftly but gently pulling the IVs out of his arm. He picked up Clyde easily, the brunette just now thinking he had probably lost a lot of weight in the five weeks he had been captive with mostly liquid nutrients being given to him.

Mephesto rushed him out of the room, placing him a slightly raised bed, spreading and strapping his legs to the metal braces jutting out from the end.

“It’s a birthing bed. It helps women have an easier time pushing out their baby. The eggs will start coming soon. You’re already starting to have cramping, right?”

Clyde could only nod weakly, his body trembling.

“Those are contractions. they help to position and pull the eggs closer to your opening so they can be pushed out. When you have one, you’ll need to push your body down there as hard and as much as you can. Just think of it as you being constipated and are trying to pass a hard stool.”

Clyde’s stomach churned as he nodded again, tears welling up in his eyes. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to do this.

“C-Can’t you just c-cut them out?”

Mephesto chuckled. “Now where’s the point in that? I need to see if your cloaca can handle pushing out eggs since this will be a monthly occurrence. If you can push out eggs this size, your normal unfertilized eggs should be no problem.”

“I don’t-”

The intense cramp his body made cut what he was about to say off as he gasped harshly, tears falling across his cheeks.

“Remember what I said boy. You need to push when you have a contraction.”

Clyde choked back a sob and pushed, gripping the side rails the small bed had. He felt something large begin to slowly move inside him, moving down. He stopped pushing as the pain of the cramp faded. The brunette panted, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, tears and sweat clinging to his skin. He was already exhausted and this was only the first push. How was he even going to have the energy to do all this?

Another contraction hit minutes later and Clyde reluctantly pushed, feeling the egg stretch his insides as it moved closer to the opening of his cloaca. It was only a small comfort that Mephesto said he’d have an easier time laying his eggs with the cloaca opposed to if he still had an actual human anus. The muscle was stretchier since it was made to lay eggs.

Another contraction and another push had Clyde feeling the first egg was about to push through his opening. He gratefully accepted the sips of water Mephesto gave him as the man ran a wet washcloth over his sweaty forehead.

The next push had the egg widely stretch the muscle of his opening, finally beginning its ejection out of his body. He cried out in pain as the egg slowly pushed through, the brunette sobbing as the next contraction gave him the energy to push it out completely and into the soft nest of towels underneath him.

Mephesto grabbed the egg and wiped off the mucus and whatever else the brunette had leaked out, holding the large dark blue egg up for Clyde to see before whisking it off to the incubator a few feet away.

His cloaca was properly stretched by the time the second egg was ready to be pushed out, Clyde not having to strain himself so hard this time to push it out all the way and into the waiting towels. This egg was a dark green in color, just a bit smaller than the first egg.

Clyde didn’t think he had the energy left once the third and final egg was ready to be laid. Still, despite his body screaming for him to stop, that it couldn’t take anymore, Clyde pushed. His voice had grown hoarse by this point, and he could only gasp and whimper as he pushed, his body trembling in pain, as he felt his hole grow wider than the first two as the egg made its way out of him. He dully heard the third egg hit the towels and he shakily smiled in relief. It was over.

He laid there, breathing deeply, his body cooling off as his sweat dried on his skin. The third egg was held up, a deep purple color, smaller but slightly wider than the first two. His eyes followed Mephesto as the man laid the final egg in the incubator.

Tears welled in his eyes as he stared at the three eggs. wondering how long it would take before they hatched. He knew it was sick and wrong to think about it, especially with what he had been through, but those were _**HIS**_ eggs. He made them in his body. He pushed them out himself. He birthed them. His _**BABIES**_ were in those eggs, whatever hatched out of them.

It was either the hormones Mephesto had injected into him this entire time, or a flashback to just how in character he got when he was Mosquito, or even the ingrained motherly absence he had had since he was nine, but seeing the physical eggs he had carried for a month in his body filled him the need to protect them.

He was exhausted, his entire lower region and cloaca throbbing in pain as it slowly shrank down to its normal size. He wanted to sleep, but he needed to get to his eggs. He needed to hold them, to keep them away from the mad scientist. Mephesto could do anything to him at this point, but the man had better not lay a hand on his eggs, his babies. His body wouldn’t move however, no matter how much he tried. He was too tired, too drained. He couldn’t keep his eyes open.

Clyde felt himself being picked up and carried back to his room, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

——————————————

Mephesto threatened him to mostly keep the eggs in the incubator, but he allowed the device in the room with Clyde, letting the brunette touch and hold them. He spent every waking moment just staring at the eggs, feeling the leather-like shells, talking to them, wondering what would hatch out of them.

He was allowed to get off the bed to walk around, getting the strength back in his legs since he had been mostly bed-ridden for over a month. The doctor also began to increase the amount of food he gave to the brunette, slowly substituting it for nutrient solution since he didn’t have eggs inside him at that moment. The device in his spine was still in place, Mephesto telling him he still needed a way to take him down.

Clyde was partial to the purple egg, holding it more than the other two. It was smaller, so it was probably the runt of the group, the color reminding him of his favorite purple button up shirt that Token wore when they went out on dates. The eggs had been out of him for a week, marking six weeks since he was abducted and experimented on. He wondered how long it would be for his friends to forget him. Mephesto made it clear that he wouldn’t let him go.

The blue egg twitched.

Clyde gasped as he turned his eyes to the large egg. Another twitch.

“I-It’s okay. It’s time right? For you to come out. I can’t wait to meet you babies.”

His voice triggered the green and purple eggs to begin to twitch as well and Clyde smiled, stroking each one of them in turn. “Come on babies. You can do it.”

Soft cracking echoed in the incubator and Clyde momentarily took his hands off the eggs, letting the babies break out on their own. A piece of the blue egg chipped off, allowing Clyde to see whatever was in the egg was furry.

Cracking came from all three eggs, bits falling off, as the eggs hatched. Finally the large blue one split in half and a large furry orb pulled itself out with its tendrils, blinking up at Clyde with large black eyes.

If Clyde could accurately describe what exactly he was looking at, he could only think of it looking like the furry tomato in the killer tomato horror movies his friends had watched one night in high school. It was dark blue in color, nearly the same color as the egg it came from, with two small furry tentacles/tendrils that probably served as its limbs.

Clyde hesitantly reached out to touch the orb, hoping not to scare it. He smiled as he felt its fur, marveling how soft it was. The orb closed its eyes and a low rumbling came from it as Clyde petted it.

Hearing its sibling, the two other eggs began to hasten their hatching and soon, dark green and dark purple furry orbs emerged, blinking up at Clyde just like the blue one had done.

“Hi babies. Welcome to the world.”

The three began to trill as they wrapped their tendrils around Clyde’s wrists. He scooped the three out of the incubator and laid down in bed with them, holding them close to his body.

—————————————-

The door beeped and Clyde hugged his children closer to his body, glaring at the door as Mephesto entered.

“Ah good, all three hatched already. Interesting creatures they turned out to be.”

Clyde growled as he gently placed the three on the bed behind him, pushing himself off, and standing in front of them to shield them from Mephesto’s eyes. “You’re not touching them.”

“We’ve been over this boy. It’s my experiment I’m conducting. I-”

“They’re _**NOT**_ experiments! They’re _**MY**_ children!”

Mephesto rolled his eyes as he took a step closer. “They’re creatures of science, which I need to examine. You can have them back once I get through with testing for the day.”

“I said you’re not touching them!”

Clyde got in one good shove against the doctor before Mephesto activated the device that shocked and numbed his limbs. His legs buckled and he crashed to the floor, crying out in pain and frustration as he glared angrily at the man.

“You try that again and you _won’t_ get them back at all.”

Mephesto began to take another step toward the bed when he tripped and crashed to the ground like Clyde had done.

Clyde’s eyes widened as he saw his blue child had extended the tendrils and had wrapped them around the doctor’s legs. Mephesto tried to grab the tendrils but was stopped as the green orb successfully wrapped itself around his arms.

There was a small jolt of pain coming from his lower back and his spine began burning as something seemed to be pulled out. Clyde gasped as he rode through the pain, gritting his teeth as the feeling returned in his arms and legs. He pushed himself up and turned his body to see the purple orb had the device Mephesto had implanted in his spine in its tendrils.

Clyde smiled and lightly scratched the orb on the head. “Thank you sweetie.”

The orb trilled happily.

The brunette shakily crawled over to Mephesto, breathing heavily as he glared at the doctor trying in vain to pull himself free from the tendrils. He reached in the man’s pocket where he knew the man had a syringe of liquid that would knock him out if the spinal implant had begun to malfunction.

Clyde uncapped the syringe and pushed the plunger down, expelling all the liquid, before pulling it back. He poised the needle close to one of Mephesto’s veins in his neck.

Mephesto’s eyes widened and he struggled weakly against his captors. “B-Boy! You- If you do this- You can’t kill me! Think of the experi-”

“My name is Clyde for the record.”

Clyde pushed the needle in the man’s neck, pushing the plunger down, forcing the large air bubble in the doctor’s bloodstream.

“Let him go. He’ll be dead soon. Saw this in a movie. Once that air pocket hits his brain, he’ll have an aneurysm and die.”

Clyde gathered his children and stood up, hugging them close, as he watched Mephesto breathe his last breath.

——————————

Token gripped his phone tightly, trying not to let the tears flow as he stared at the last picture him and Clyde had been in together. It was their graduation photo, right after they had thrown their hats, the two of them clinging to each other and smiling in excitement. The special box he kept in his pocket felt heavier with each day Clyde was gone.

It had been the most painful six weeks of his life as the reality of Clyde never being found sunk in. The police had given up after a month of searching and even his friends had began to lose hope as they gave up the search one by one, offering words of sympathy. Only Craig and Tweek stayed to help after everyone else had given up, Craig walking with Token in the woods behind Skeeter’s Bar for clues and Tweek scouring the internet for hours looking at all the John Doe cases in their general area to see if any of them matched Clyde’s description.

A steaming mug of coffee was placed next to him and Token looked up, his tired brown eyes locking onto Tweek’s equally tired looking blue ones.

“Thanks.”

Token sipped the coffee slowly, trying to perk himself up, as Craig pulled out the large map and laid it across the dining room table.

“Alright, so we’ve already checked these areas and today we checked just over this ridge here. Tomorrow after I gas up my car, we can check this wooded area. We can-”

The three froze as Token’s phone began ringing, their eyes widening as the familiar ringtone that Clyde had picked out for himself filling the room.

“No…it can’t be-”

Token shakily picked his phone up, seeing Clyde’s name and picture on his screen. He jammed the answer button hard.

“Clyde? Oh god, Clyde is it really-”

Token stopped talking as tears ran down his cheeks, cupping the phone closer to his ear.

“O-Okay baby. Hold on. We’ll be there as fast as- Clyde? Clyde!?”

Token pulled the phone away from his ear and glared as the call ended. “Shit! He said he didn’t have much-”

His arm was grabbed and Token looked into Craig’s wide eyes. “Token! Was that-”

The black man nodded and stood up. “It was Clyde. He’s in Mephesto’s lab. He didn’t have much battery so the call ended. We’ve got to go!”

Craig and Tweek nodded as they hurried out of Token’s house, Craig dragging the two to his car. “I’ll drive. Last I saw, the gate was locked. If anything, my piece of shit car can probably withstand slamming into the gate better than yours can Token.”

——————————-

Clyde kissed his phone, grateful that Mephesto hadn’t thrown it away but instead had just turned it off and for the precious few minutes of battery that was left so he could tell Token where he was. It probably would have been better for him to send a text message, but it had been so long since he had heard his boyfriend’s voice.

The brunette had laid back in his bed, his legs still not strong enough to keep standing on them for long and exhausted from digging through the lab for anything to contact Token, his children nestled together in his lap. The door to his room was open to allow easy access to Token and whoever else came with him.

He looked down to his sleeping children. Clyde smiled as he gently picked out a small knot out of Lila’s fur, the name he had chosen for the purple one. Mavi had been picked for the blue one, while Zelena was the green one. He instinctively knew they were all female and he praised his girls and their bravery for helping him finally bring down his captor.

————————–

Clyde had closed his eyes and was almost asleep when he began to hear movement coming from the lab. He turned his head toward the door just as Token appeared in the doorway.

“Clyde!”

The brunette smiled tiredly as Token rushed to his bed, the black man cupping his face in his hands and bumping their foreheads together before kissing him gently on the lips.

Clyde hummed into the kiss, grateful Token was finally there. “S-Sorry I’m so tired. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. These little darlings took a lot out of me.”

Token looked down to see the furry orbs looking up at him, having been woken up by Token’s shouting. “Clyde? Wh-What are-”

“My children. My daughters. I gave birth to them…well…their eggs. But I made them in my body. They hatched today. Or yesterday. I don’t… I don’t even know what time or day it is.”

Clyde tried forcing himself to stay awake, but the little energy he had gained was quickly running out. “Girls, this is Token. He’s good. He’s my boyfriend. Listen to him, okay babies?”

————————————-

Token watched as Clyde closed his eyes, falling into the much needed sleep the man could tell his boyfriend needed. He held out his hand to the furry orbs. “Um, I’m Token. Um…your mommy or daddy’s um…”

The three orbs gently pulled his hand closer with their tendrils, rubbing up against it, purring in delight.

“Token…you need to see this.”

Token turned to see Craig grimly looking at him in the doorway. He nodded and turned back to the fur babies. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

He began walking toward the door to head back in the lab, glancing and ignoring the definite prone body of Dr. Mephesto in the corner of the room.

“What’s up Craig?”

Craig motioned for him to follow him to a large desk, Tweek already at the computer accessing and downloading files. Papers and diagrams covered the desk. Craig gently put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “Tweek…show him.”

Tweek grimaced as he closed his eyes and nodded, pulling up a video file and pressing play. “The sound’s off for reasons.”

Token watched in horror as he saw a sped up version of Clyde laying the large eggs the three furry orbs he had just met had come out of. Even though the sound was off, he could imagine the painful sobs and screams of his boyfriend.

“It’s even worse Token. According to all these notes, Mephesto altered Clyde to be able to make and lay eggs. Like what birds have. A cloaca.”

Token looked at Craig and frowned. “Clyde mentioned a bit about it before he fell asleep. And I met the things that hatched from those eggs. They’re not harmful. They’re-”

“ **NGH** We know Token. They’re not dangerous. Well…except for Mephesto. There’s video of what happened in that room. They took him down while Clyde delivered the final blow. We’re getting everything gathered up before we leave in case anyone decides to come in after we leave. And to make sure we can help Clyde if something happens.”

————————

Token carefully picked Clyde up, noting how light the brunette was, as he carried him out of the room. Tweek had volunteered to carry Clyde’s babies, the three trilling happily as they played with Tweek’s mess of hair so similar to their own.

Token smiled softly at the sight. “I think they really like you…Uncle Tweek.”

They made their way to the large front door when Craig stopped and pushed the pillowcase full of papers and notes on Clyde in Tweek’s hands. “You guys get to the car. I forgot to grab something.”

Token laid Clyde in the backseat, putting the brunette’s head in his lap while Tweek settled in the front passenger seat with the babies. A few minutes later, the two saw Craig hurriedly run out of the building and quickly got in the car, starting it and quickly driving off.

Token saw Craig’s angered expression in the rear-view mirror. “Craig, what did you-”

A loud explosion behind them shook the car a bit and Token quickly turned around to see the lab on fire in several places. His eyes grew wide. “Craig!”

“It had to be done Token. For all our sakes. Just in case taking everything linking back to Clyde wasn’t enough.”

———————————

It would several weeks for Clyde to begin the process of recovering from everything that had happened. There were many sleepless nights for both him and Token as Clyde would fitfully wake up and cry in relief that he was safe in their shared bed and not in the hospital bed in the lab.

Having Token’s parents fully supportive of Clyde and his recovery was another thing, especially once Clyde’s next egg cycle came when Token was marched right back into their room with a hot water bottle and pain killers by his mother, Linda ordering her son to take care of his boyfriend while she took care of washing the towels and bedding that had got messy during the process of expelling the smaller, unfertilized eggs.

Token was refilling the hot water bottle when Linda brought in a large leafy salad and a cup of green tea. “Both help with the cramps sweetie. I figured this is kind of like what us women get every month. Let me know when your next cycle is, okay?”

Clyde nodded and Linda kissed his forehead, before reaching down and picking up Mavi, Zelena, and Lila out of their playpen to take care of them as Clyde rested.

Steve made sure to keep all the papers and notes about Clyde secure in the new safe in his office just for those specific contents, giving both Token and Clyde the unique code he set for it in case they needed any of the papers and he wasn’t there.

——————————

“You deserve someone normal.”

“You _**ARE**_ normal Clyde.”

Token wiped the tears away from Clyde’s face, kissing his forehead before kissing him softly on the lips. “You are the most beautiful person in the world and I am so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend.”

“I lay eggs.”

“If we want to get technical, girls lay eggs too, they just have to get rid of more…bloodier stuff than you do. At least yours are easier to clean up and dispose of.”

“Tweek’s jealous the girls have better wild hair game than he does. He keeps asking me how it’s so shiny and manageable. I don’t have the nerve to tell him it’s from them eating the eggs I produce.”

Token chuckled as he brushed the hair out of Clyde’s eyes. “Yeah…pretty sure Tweek would freak out if you offered him one of your “butt eggs.”

“I love Tweek too much to do that to him. He might not ever watch his nieces again. Cartman maybe. That would be funny. Him eating a huge plate of scrambled “butt eggs” and then us telling them where they came from. Serves him right. It’s his damn fault we even went to that lab to begin with.”

“We should have checked there. Craig and I must have passed that lab at least a hundred times when we were searching for you. It never crossed our minds.”

Clyde closed his eyes and snuggled up to Token. “You found me in the end. And I have three wonderful children, even if it’s through very unconventional methods.”

“ _ **WE**_ have three wonderful children Clyde. I fully claim them as my daughters as well. And you know mom immediately dubbed them her granddaughters as soon as she saw them. Mavi and Zelena like helping her with cooking.”

“Lila’s probably read just about every book in your dad’s office. I think he’s even letting her go over some of his case files in case he missed something.”

Token sat up, pulling Clyde up with him. He reached over and turned on his bedside light before pulling open the table drawer and pulling out a small box.

“I…had meant to do this before everything happened. I made a speech and everything. But…I think actions speak louder than words.”

Token handed Clyde the small box, his breath hitching as Clyde opened it, watching him stare at the simple band before closing the box.

Clyde smiled and nodded. “We’ve already got flower girls. And…on one condition.”

“Yes?”

“We make a special groom’s cake that is so tempting that Cartman will hog it all and eat it. It’s made with my “butt eggs.”

“You’re _**STILL**_ on about that?”

“Yes.”

“Gross dude.”

Clyde shrugged. “It’s my wedding.”

“And _**THAT’S**_ why I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Scream at me for this horrible poo poo garbage riddlepanda.tumblr.com
> 
> Mavi, Zelena, and Lila are ways of saying blue, green, and purple in other languages


End file.
